I haven’t written in over a month. Sometimes I just can’t seem to find the words to use. And, honestly, sometimes I am just too busy to even think about having time to sit down and write. But, Sam took an early nap today and I am caught up on laundry, so I am going to attempt to write something inspiring today. I don’t plan to inspire anyone except myself because, truthfully, that is where I am at right now in my life. I need to be inspired. I have this list in my brain of all the wonderful things I need/want to do with my life (even my day), but somehow I keep finding myself falling short. Here is a brief example of my list:
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be a wise and successful business owner by learning the trade and pouring into the employees that we have been blessed with
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be a great wife to my awesome husband
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be a patient and kind mother to my son (who is in the process of potty-training, God help me!)
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be a women’s pastor who is organized and driven by Christ to reach out to other women and lead them to become all that God wants them to be
Even though this list does not seem long, every item on the list is very involved. I cannot possibly spend 30 minutes a day on these things and expect to be successful. I do feel that I am great mom, not perfect, but I do a good job. Sam is still alive and he is learning to use the potty and he brings joy to just about everyone who knows him. So for that I am most grateful. I do feel like I am a good wife to John, however, I know there are still areas in our marriage that need work and I am trying to work on them. The Women’s Ministry at Life Church is growing and becoming much more active. We send out a monthly newsletter called “girltalk”, we have a quarterly women’s meeting called “girltalk live”, we have a quarterly girls’ night out, and we have an annual women’s conference called Infusion. The women’s ministry takes up a large portion of my time. I do enjoy it, but I am feeling like I am neglecting our business. I am at the shop on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Friday afternoons. I usually have time to pay bills, pay taxes and do payroll. But as far as learning how to manage the shop and find innovative ways to bring growth to our business, I am pretty much useless. I think I have way too much going on right now and I feel very guilty about my lackluster committment to our business. I feel as if I am letting God down, because He is the one who blessed us with the shop and brought us to Big Spring; and I feel like I am letting John down because I know that he needs me at the shop. The thing is the only other item on that list that I can let go in order to free up my time is the position as women’s pastor at Life Church. So either I have to give that up or God needs to give me some super powers so I can manage my time more wisely. Nothing is impossible for God and I know that I have to get that from my head to my heart if I am going to continue on in life the way I have been for the last 8 months. I just know that I cannot do it on my own. I need to be empowered to keep on keeping on. Since words of affirmation is one of my love languages, feel free to offer some.
cbgrace Said:
on March 24, 2008 at 6:34 pm
1. You’re doing a great job! I saw the flyer for the conference at mom’s it is beautiful. You should attach it to your blog so anyone surfing can see the details of the women’s conference.
2. You and John often overlook the “smaller” contributions you make into the lives of others. I know without y’all I could not have completed my book project and I wouldn’t have met Dennis. All these small things you do are adding into your heavenly account! God sees them great and small.
3. Because you were so gracious to me by having me live with you, I’ve been able to help out my sister-in-law. You set a great example. She is staying with us and working on getting her GED. I believe that whatever she accomplishes in the Kingdom will also be credited to your account.
Because it is the kindness you sowed that has enabled me to sow… and sow forth (lqtm).
It’s usually not the things people see that are the BIGGEST in God’s eyes…it’s those secret small things you do that no one knows about that are sometimes the greatest in the Kingdom.
Because I lived with you, I saw many of those little things no one knows about but God sees. Taking care of your family, sowing into the lives of those in need, etc. Those small things are so much bigger than you realize. You are definately storing up treasure in heaven…you have made a BIG difference in the lives of others.